Ideal Gifts for Everyone on your Christmas Shopping List

It seems like just yesterday we were prepping for Thanksgiving, checking our Trader Joe’s grocery lists to make sure we had all the best fixings. And yet, here we are, just two weeks away from Christmas. Maybe you’re already set with your shopping, your presents all neatly wrapped and ready to be opened. Perhaps you haven’t even started yet — don’t worry, there’s still time! If you’re like us, your inbox is inundated with emails from newsletters and shops alike, all promising to make your life easier and simplify your shopping trips with lists of the best gifts out there. After scouring several of them, we’ve compiled a few of the best-of-the-best items for everyone on your shopping list.

For Dad: NWESTUN Premium Viking Knife

Dads know quality; it’s just a fact. And your dad will immediately recognize the craftsmanship in a NWESTUN Premium Viking Knife. From its thick and sturdy blade made of High Carbon 7CR17Mov steel to its ergonomic handle design, this knife pulls double duty as an asset in hunting and camping as well as for the home kitchen. This hand-forged knife can trim a brisket, separate pork ribs, and slice and dice veggies. With this bad boy in tow, dad will be the star at all future barbecues!

For Mom: Oxford Chef 8-Inch Chef’s Knife

Sure, mom may cook five-star meals at home with the same outdated butcher’s block of dull knives she’s had for decades, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy an upgrade! Any home cook should have at least one great chef’s knife. The Oxford 8-Inch Chef Knife is a Japanese-style model made with Damascus steel, which makes it lightweight and therefore puts less strain on mom’s delicate, tired hands. But don’t mistake its lightness for weakness — this baby can SLICE! Its razor-sharp blade will stay sharp for a long while, while its material is resistant to rust and corrosion.

For that highly competitive sibling: Spyderco Delica 4 Lightweight 7.15" Signature Folding Knife

We all have siblings. And we all have at least one that can’t help but compete with you, no matter how old you are or how little the stakes may be. Give them an ego boost with this Spyderco Delica 4 Lightweight 7.15" Signature Folding Knife. From its vibrant range of color options to its superior blade steel and refined cutting edge, your bro or sis can take pleasure in knowing they’ll be bringing the coolest knife to the melee!

For that special someone: Palmetto Wood Shop Engraved Pocket Knife

Let the one you love know that you care about their safety with this Palmetto Wood Shop Engraved Pocket Knife. Whether they’re out camping, at a picnic, or being detained at the airport, make sure they always have a reminder of your love on them, with up to two lines of personalized text engraved on the side of the handle.

For your furry friend: Knife Catnip Toys

Cats are apex predators, and they should always be reminded of that. Let them sharpen their knife skills while they’re getting high af with these Knife Catnip Toys.

For the knife enthusiast: Victorinox Classic SD 7 Function Pocket Knife

This is one of the most iconic pocketknives in the world, and for good reason. The Victorinox Classic SD 7 Function Swiss Army Knife is the OG: it’s the one that established a new genre of knives way back in 1935, featuring a pen blade, nail file, screwdriver, key ring, toothpick, tweezers, and scissors. The Swiss-made stainless-steel construction allows it to be durable while the slim size makes it easy to carry (and stuff into stockings!). No knife enthusiast should be without one. No person in general should be without one. Everyone should have one of these. Everyone should have a knife.

Knives, just get everyone knives. In this economy? Knife. With this housing market? Knife. In these frightening climate situations? Knife knife knife.

But don’t just take our word for it.

We spoke to Santa and he said, “knife up, bitches.” Mrs. Claus kept talking about studying the blade but when we asked for more information on what exactly that meant, she just waved an iridescent pocketknife at us and said, “keep your enemies closer.”

Merry Knifemas. Happy Bladekkah. And have a Stabby New Year.