A Very Disney (Channel Original Movies) Halloween

Musings of an Anxious Millennial Writer #20: A Ranking of the Best of the Best in Family Entertainment

The Cheetah Girls. High School Musical. Camp Rock. All Disney Channel original movies that I haven’t actually seen. Perhaps they came at a time when I was growing out of Disney fandom, maybe it’s because I despise musicals, but either way, these weren’t a part of my regular viewing lineup.

But make no mistake, I was down with the DCOMs from day one. And, in my personal opinion, when it came to their best, they could do no wrong on Halloween.

I’ve opined before on some of my favorite Halloween sitcom and family-friendly television specials of the ‘90s and early oughts, but now it’s time to make some fun wooshy hand motions and analyze the best spooky-lite fair the Disney Channel had to offer.

And so, my ranking of the best Halloween/Halloweenie (lolz) Disney Channel Original Movies:

5. The Luck of the Irish / Smart House

Ok, I’m more than aware that neither of these are Halloween movies. And it’s odd to group two very different movies together. But they shared one thing in common: Ryan Merriman. That’s also the only reason why I watched them both. 14-year-old Jamie had a crush on any vaguely Irish boy with spiked up hair so these two were worth cancelling weekend plans to stay in and watch. 14-year-old Jamie also didn’t really have any other weekend plans. Neither did 15- or 16-year-old Jamie. Nevertheless, these movies were both solidly ok, I guess. And both are slightly appropriate for Halloween.

Smart House was more prescient than it realized in its depictions of a self-sentient home, what with all the robotic devices that are becoming more and more standard in modern living. Plus, it had Katey Sagal, so for that alone it slightly edges out its competition.

The Luck of the Irish, on the other hand, was frightening in its rampant Irish stereotyping. I’m sure there were leprechauns too, which automatically makes it a horror film, but at that time I was too busy admiring Ryan Merriman’s perfectly spiked up hair to have noticed.

4. Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire

Ok, I have to admit, I actually don’t know if I’ve ever seen this movie. It’s got Caroline Rhea so my Sabrina-loving self should have watched this, but I’m recalling none of it beyond the title. As I started writing this I was amazed that they had Kathleen Turner in a DCOM, only to realize I was thinking of what I can only assume is some strange mashup of Serial Mom and A Simple Wish.

Perhaps this movie should be lower down on the list, or not at all on it, but it’s seasonally appropriate so it stays. My list, my rules. Maybe I’ll give this one a watch if I can find it streaming anywhere. Probably not, though, because I am an adult.

3. Susie Q

This technically predates the Disney Channel Original Movie format and was instead a Disney Channel Premiere Film. And it is, to put it bluntly, morbid AF. Amy Jo Johnson stars as the titular Susie, a young woman from the 1950s who died in a tragic car accident along with her beau on their way to their winter formal. Her ghost returns 40 years later to her old home to help prevent her aging parents from being kicked out of their trailer home.

…pretty heavy stuff, Disney, damn.

Susie’s friend Zach, the only person who can see and communicate with her, has his own tragic story as well, with his father having also lost his life in a car accident on his way to one of Zach’s basketball games, which has caused him to give up playing the sport he loves. Zach works with Susie to fix her parents' situation so she can return to the afterlife, helping him address his issues in the process.

No, this might not be a traditional Halloween movie, but it’s a ghost story so it definitely counts. Even re-reading the plot I’m reminded of how intense and emotional it was, especially for something marketed to kids. And yet, I also remember making a point to watch it whenever it was on. I wasn’t a particularly dark kid, either, I went out of my way to avoid things that could make me sad. This movie just managed to handle it with light enough of a touch that it worked for me. And I won’t spoil anything, but it does have an almost impossibly happy ending.

2. Halloweentown

When it comes to spooky season, there’s no movie that quite captures the spirit better than Halloweentown. This movie isn’t just a good Halloween watch, it *is* Halloween. The vibe and aesthetic so perfectly captured the holiday and season it fills me with warm, fuzzy feeling just thinking about it. It’s got a town dedicated to Halloween, a witch story, and Debbie Reynolds, what more could you possibly want?

The sequel was good, too, albeit not as memorable as the first. And other sequels that I never saw so those therefore do not exist to me.

1. Under Wraps

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, Under Wraps is a hidden gem. The OG, not just the first Halloween movie, but the FIRST Disney Channel Original Movie, periodt. Despite a somewhat convoluted plot, Under Wraps was the first movie, aside from Hocus Pocus, to really get me excited about watching modern movies specifically about Halloween. This movie also checks a lot of kids fare boxes: a single-parent household, acknowledging and accepting death, and being forced to confront change. Plus, it introduced me to the Eric Carmen original version of “All By Myself.” Even Halloween movies can provide good learning experiences!

I didn’t see the remake and I won’t. Not because I, unlike the protagonists of kids films, refuse to confront change, but because I am an adult.

Honorable Mentions:

Wish Upon a Star

I wouldn’t typically consider a Freaky Friday-style flick a Halloween movie, but body swapping is pretty, well, freaky. Plus, it’s got scream queen Danielle Harris, so it counts. Fun fact: this movie, like Susie Q, was also released as a Disney Channel Premiere Film.

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century

Definitely not a Halloween movie, more-so sci-fi-lite, but I distinctly remember wanting to dress up as Zenon for Halloween. Plus, who didn’t have a crush on Protozoa? Zoom, zoom, zoom, you make my heart go boom, boom, boom, my supernova girl. Be still my beating heart.

And there you have the definitive and not problematic ranking of my personal favorite Disney Channel Original Halloween movies! I enjoyed reminiscing about these movies I will likely never watch again because, if I haven’t mentioned it yet, I am an adult.

I will watch Hocus Pocus again though, that movie is timeless.